If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We have started to decorate penises.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The uberlube is also flammable
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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