dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
