I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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