and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
