Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
