he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
