so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
