So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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