we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
