Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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