Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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