Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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