Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
