do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
