Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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