I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
