All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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