stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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