The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
