And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Girls should come with a carfax report
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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