I wannas sexs uuuuu
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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