Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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