Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
