Me. At least after what I've been through.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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