You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
