I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
