I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
