Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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