For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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