Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
