so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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