Your face is a jimmy john
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
