Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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