Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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