I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
