Whoa Z and x make the same sound
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize