So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
