all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
