better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize