everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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