He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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