we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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