very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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