The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
