is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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