Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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