I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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