Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
