so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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