I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
