that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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