we're blogging at a bar
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
